so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy
audio recording of Zayn Malik on the phone with two underage fans on their way to the hotel telling them how to get through security and get upstairs to his and Harry’s room.
Girls: “Tell Harry he needs to wait”
Zayn: “Harry, uh, if he wants booty, he has to wait.”